Day one:

Day one:

Relationships, there not the easiest thing In the world to figure out. I've had my share of failures and my share of success. But if there is one thing I do know for sure, its that I'm not the easiest person to love. I try my hardest to keep my head above water, and do all the things that in my head are right. Seems to me, that everyday there is something that I do wrong, no matter what it is, I think in my head that its always me. But the truth is, its my insecurities. I maybe only 18, but I do know an ample amount about how selfish one can be. On a day to day bases, there are always things that piss me off or make me sad or upset. And I try my absolute hardest to redirect my mind. And usually its over something that I shouldn't even be worrying about. I accuse and question so much that it makes my insides melt if I dont ask the questions that I have lingering in my head. Even though I have those negative thoughts in my head,  I still know deep down what I have is real and the best. But the thing is, I get so upset over the littlest things. Things that shouldn't even matter. I question things that shouldn't be questioned and I assume things that don't need to be assumed. Because the majority of the time, I'm proven wrong. And the part that I need to remember the most when having those negative thoughts, are that no matter what happens....I'll come home everyday to a house that I know is completely ours. I suffocate myself in thoughts that only I can get rid of...But I'm to scared to let those thoughts go without answers....Answers that deep down, I know are true, and faithful. But every little thing that happens, makes me worry that much more. I ask myself "Why?" so many times, that I've finally figured out why. Its because I'm so scared to loose the one and only thing that I cherish the most, the one thing that I think about when I wake up, to the time that I lay my head down at night. But all-in-all, the one piece of the puzzle in my life, is finally fit into place. But its my choice to keep it that way. And the only way to keep it that way, is to keep that optimistic mind open. That's the key part in making the most important part of life, worth it.